Ah, the first of many blog entries. I have too many paper journals that I've filled, and frankly, my hands get sore faster when I write versus typing; so I sold out & got a blog. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm Melissa. I'm a petite, 23 year old ball of sass, and my mama would tell you the spontaneity of my life paired with the constant stream of sarcasm out of my mouth is #1 in causes for her to roll her eyes. (She is wonderful, by the way.) I grew up in a small rural town in Nebraska, but am more recently from Nashville, Tennessee, with a brief hiatus in Minnesota....and NOW, North Dakota. See what I mean? You'd roll your eyes too. Hey, I'M rolling my eyes. How did I get here, you ask?  When I check the rearview & reminisce on years past - the good choices and messes alike - it is impossible for me to overlook the glaringly obvious intervention of the Lord to get me to where I am today. Every single person I've met, and place I've been has molded me into who I am today & gotten me to this place just as I am supposed to be. I have never in my life felt that before. But I do now.

Lance & Line Adams - now there are 2 incredible people of faith. I haven't known them even a month. I met them through a dear friend, and at the time, I was planning my move back to my beloved Nashville. We were sharing about our lives when it all the sudden clicked. The best way to explain it is this: suppose you've been standing in the middle of a crowded street in a big city holding a small puzzle piece and waiting for someone who is holding a puzzle piece that fits yours to happen past you. That is exactly what happened. And I'm sure we all realized it simultaneously, or I would not be sitting in a trailer on a dirt lot in the middle of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in Fort Yates, North Dakota, writing this entry. Prior to the conversation I had with Lance & Line leading up to my move out here, I had decided to fast for a day and just pray for God to slap me in the face (I seem to do best with directivity) with the best possible option. I had been offered several, and was trying to make a determination. Let me be clear that I don't know that God necessarily always wants us to do an exact thing in an exact place - I think He wants us to pursue Him wherever we are in whatever way we can.  But sometimes, there IS an exact place and an exact thing, and it would be better than other exact places & exact things. The other thing I will note, is that not even a week before this pivotal conversation took place, I remember falling asleep on my couch, with one eye open, watching the shadows dance on the wall in the flickering light there, and whispering, "Lord...I am so happy that You have provided me a good job here in Minnesota....and I don't want to seem ungrateful....but You know my heart is not here. And I want so badly to work, AND to do ministry. Would you give that to me?" 

And He did. 

So within not even a week, I was packing things into a storage unit, and shoving what I could fit into my tiny car, and making an 8 hour drive with a missionary I'd essentially just met with my 100 lb. wolfdog on my lap. I could not feel my butt, I was excited, I was terrified, and I was praising the Lord the whole way. The reason I am disclosing details that would possibly make me sound a little crazy is because I know that this is all totally from the Lord, and most people that He uses to do things for Him end up looking like nut cases anyway - so I figure I've really got nothing to lose. While we are on the subject of disclosing embarrassing details, (I apologize for being such a disorganized account-giver), I want to note that before all of this, things were going wonderfully at the job I'd been working in Minnesota - a job that was the only reason I'd stayed in that freezing tundra after the summer was over. But things can change very quickly. To make a long story short, a woman & coworker that I'd trusted perhaps a bit too much too soon & I had a falling out, and I tried earnestly to make things right with her. The Bible tells us to do as much as it depends on us to live at peace with others, but unfortunately, we can only control our own actions. She unfortunately chose to twist the situation into something it was not, and as a result, I lost my job & my honest reputation. I felt angry, hurt, betrayed, shell-shocked, & confused. That is not the easiest thing for me to share, because it is still fairly fresh. But my point in sharing it is this; that even as I was reeling & thinking about how I was going to provide for myself and what I was going to do on a practical level, and then questioning a lot of things & licking my wounds on a personal level...God did not miss a beat in constructing a way for me. Why? Because God is a God of redemption & healing. He makes all things new, and He loves doing it! And on the trip out here, the woman who had cost me quite a bit with her actions texted me. I was at first irritated & resolved not to respond. And then, Lance & I were having a conversation, and something he said stuck in my mind. He said, "Everyone has needs. Even the people you consider equals or leaders; especially those people." And I asked God to change my heart about the situation, and He did. I suddenly had huge compassion for this woman, and wondered how deeply she must be hurting to lash out and knowingly do something like that to someone she once counted as a friend. So, amazed at the quick transformation of my heart & answer to prayer, I texted her back something kind & asked her how she & her family were. We actually ended up having a nice conversation, and something wonderful happened. I let the hurt go. And as the sun went down & we pulled onto the reservation, I could almost hear the sound of a page turning.